I had a bad day today - how to stay calm with the kids
I had a bad day today - how to stay calm with the kids?
I had a bad day today. No it wasn’t horrible. Nothing tragic happened. But it was a bad day.
It’s been over 100 degrees for three days, so of course my AC decided that now was a good time to break. Finally got a technician in and he said it would take a few days to get the part in that we need.
So it’s unbearably hot….
Which of course means that half the family couldn’t fall asleep until the middle of the night, including me.
And then my 6-year-old woke up at 6AM because couldn’t sleep from the heat. To make a long story short (too late!) I’m hot and tired!
Then I had to stand in the heat outside for a half hour waiting online for my daughter’s appointment – did not make me any cooler or less tired – just saying.
So of course, I ended up losing it with one of my daughters when she pushed my buttons….
….which leads to a lot of parenting guilt.
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Yep.
I had a bad day today.
Question is: how do I manage to keep it together for the rest of the day, so I don’t lose it again?
How do I stay calm even though I’m tired and hot and feeling rather miserable?
1. Find an Outlet
I’m literally sitting here writing this whole post while I’m actually going through everything I just described – and this is my outlet.
I’m finding a way to use my pain and frustration for the good. To channel it to something that will hopefully help someone else in this situation.
Find yourself an outlet. Maybe it’s artwork, or music, or exercise.
Just take some time to yourself to be busy with your own outlet – so you can feel sane again.
I happen to love playing the piano, so as soon as I realized that I was in a seriously bad mood (about an hour ago) I went and sat down at the piano and started playing.
Gave me the calm and happiness that I needed to continue to interact with the family that I love without…. uh…. biting their heads off!
2. Call Someone to Cheer You Up
I have a really funny brother – and he can find humor in any situation. I often call him when I’m feeling down and he gets me laughing within minutes.
I’ve often called a friend to either let off some steam or just have someone fun to talk to which gets my mind off my bad day.
I recently called my dad to discuss a parenting failure (yes we all have them!) and without even realizing it – he had me feeling better and laughing within a quarter of an hour.
3. Put Yourself in Time Out
Don’t look at this as escaping from your kids (well you could if you want to😊), look at it as teaching your kids that sometimes we also need to go to our room to calm down.
‘I’m really hot and tired and a bit frustrated right now, I just need to go to my room to calm down.” (I would have said cool off but it’s literally anything but cool in this room right now!)
4. Do the Bare Minimum
Now is not the time to make the fancy dinner. Make something simple, take something from the freezer or order pizza!
Maybe the kids can skip baths tonight (well not mine since it’s over 100 degrees!), or cut down on your regular schedule. Or better yet, maybe someone else can take over. Your spouse? A teenage child?
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5. Avoid Confrontation
The most important thing right now is to recognize that you’re not at your best – so stay clear of any kind of confrontation or even discussion that could get heated.
If your teen wants to talk about when she can start driving lessons – and it’s not your favorite topic – then ask her to come back to you tomorrow.
‘I’m hot and tired and now’s not the best time for a discussion.’
Very simply put. Know your limitations and make them clear to those around you.
You’re setting an example of self-awareness. Of setting personal boundaries. And that’s ok – it’s actually a very healthy thing to teach your kids.
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6. Music
For me, music does it every time. It creates a great atmosphere in the house and gives me a boost.
When I’ve had a hard day – I’m all in for putting on some music. Sometimes rocky is great, sometimes something soothing.
If I’m not at my optimal, the music is just the boost in the home atmosphere that I need to make up for my own lacking.
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7. Prizes
Honestly, I’m not the one to push for daily prizes, but when you need it – and today I NEED IT!!! – then by all means go for it.
I will most certainly give one of my teens an extra privilege or treat if they help out with bedtime tonight.
I will most certainly offer a special treat to the kids who go to sleep nicely and quickly tonight – even though it’s so hot.
No, this is not what a nightly routine should look like on a consistent basis – but tonight is an exception. And prizes and special treats certainly have their time and place.
8. Do something fun together
Sometimes I just want to change the mood and I do something fun! Dress up, or make a dance party. Something to change the feel to the house. I recognize that it’s just me trying to make up for my mistakes, but you know, that’s ok sometimes.
It makes me feel good and the kids have a great time. Even something as simple as reading a bedtime story but to go full out and use different voices and really act out the parts.
I’m human. I goof up.
I feel the need to make up for my mistakes and that’s just fine. Many a time I’ve changed the mood so much that by the time everyone goes to bed we’ve had so much fun that everyone’s almost forgotten about the less than pleasant parts to the day.
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Dressing up with my son to make pre-bedtime fun - don’t we make a great Robin Hood and Captain Hook?
9. Pick Yourself Back Up Again
Was I my best today? Definitely no.
Did I mess up? Definitely yes.
Do I feel guilty? Yep.
But you know what? That’s what makes me human. I’m fallible. I’m not perfect. I’m going to write down everything I can to learn about why I lost it with my daughter – get all the pearls of wisdom out of my mistakes that I can, and then….
I’m going to move on.
I’ve fallen off my horse. But I’m going to pick myself up, dust myself off, and get right back up on that horse.
Guilt is only good for learning from your mistakes. Once you’ve done that – throw the guilt out the window and keep going.
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10. Anger Management for Parents
The fact that I’m consistently working on anger management techniques helps me to recognize the signs when I’m starting to lose it, and gives me a plethora of tools to help me manage my moods.
When I lost it with my daughter today, on a scale from 1 to 10 I’d say it was about a 3. In the past I might have gotten to an 8.
Personal development for parents is not a luxury – it’s a necessity for parents who want to be able to make it through the rough times all the while being the role models they want to be for those watching little eyes – who take in every detail of everything that goes on in their homes!
I had a bad day today. It happens to everyone.
But tomorrow is going to be great!
How was your day?
Curious to learn some more of my anger management tools? Join my free Anger Management for Parents course or my Mastering Patience course!
