Why I Don't Pay My Kids to Do Chores
Getting kids to do chores is NOT the easiest thing in the world.
I’ll agree to that.
But just like I make my kids brush their teeth and take their probiotics, which they aren’t always thrilled about, I do it because I know that it’s good for them.
Why is doing chores good for my kids?
1. Self-Care
They’ll know how to take care of themselves: wash dishes, fold laundry, peel vegetables, bake muffins.
The more they practice the better they’ll get and not only that but the younger they start the easier it will be for them.
Like a habit or second nature.
2. Caring for Our Home
They’ll learn responsibility toward the house– that things need to get done – you don’t leave the dishes unwashed, or clothing on the floor, or the garbage overflowing.
3. Responsibility for our Family
They’ll learn responsibility towards their family – to want to help out so no one person in the family needs to carry the burden of the cleanup and meal prep.
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4. Less Entitlement Behavior
They won’t grow up lazy and expecting that someone else needs to clean up after them. This is a big one in today’s world where everything is instant and comes easy, kids need to learn that they need to pull their fair share.
How do I give out chores in the house?
Our chore chart is for daily 10-minute chores. We do have cleaning help, so I don’t have my kids clean the bathrooms (like my brother and I did when we were younger), but I come up with chores that are helpful to me and good for them.
Here’s some creative chores for kids of different ages (some only for kids over 10):
Picking up a few food items at the corner store.
Doing homework with a younger sibling.
Peeling tomorrow’s dinner veggies in advance.
Hanging up the wet clothing (that don’t go in the dryer)
Making muffins, cookies for the family.
Preparing a waffle batter and putting it in the fridge (so I can make them fresh in the AM).
Giving younger siblings a bath and getting them into PJs
Playing with or reading to younger siblings for 20-30 minutes.
Make sandwiches or cut up veggies for the next day’s school lunch boxes.
Filling up water bottles and putting them in the fridge.
These are aside from the regular clear the table/sweep the floor/load the dishwasher/clean your room.
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Also, anyone 13 or older does their own laundry. I showed them how and I’ll admit, at first there was a little grumbling, but at this point my teens actually like doing their own laundry as they don’t lose their socks anymore or end up with items that lost their color due to being put in the wrong load.
I’m very happy about it, because they know how to do their own laundry and it makes them not only self-sufficient but also proud of themselves. I’ve heard them giving a little chuckle here and there about a friend whose mom goes away for a bit and their friend is at a total loss of how to do their laundry.
In addition to daily chores, when I need extra help, I don’t hesitate from asking one of the kids to help out a little extra. I try to ask someone different each time and not always the same kid.
But to be totally honest, I realized over the years that I would ask certain kids to help out more than other kids.
Why? Simple. Those kids didn’t put up a fight. They were the easier ones who would smile and help out happily. (Huge blessing!)
I was doing this for a while and I didn’t even realize it.But at some point, one of these such type easy going kids asked me point blank “Mommy, why do you always ask me and not (her sister)?”
At first, I didn’t want to admit it, even to myself, but I realized she was right. I was doing what was easy for me. And certain kids were easier to get to help out than others.
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But that has changed in my house, because I firmly believe that kids need to help out at home for their own good. For learning a sense of responsibility and caring for their family, for a sense of concern for their mother that she shouldn’t have to do it all, for their own personal development as a person – they shouldn’t go off to college and not know how to do their own laundry or boil an egg. It won’t help them much if their sister is the one who does all the chores, nor if mom or dad do all the chores themselves.
Now the big question:
WHY DON’T I PAY MY KIDS FOR DOING CHORES?
One of the reasons I believe strongly that my kids should be doing chores is because I want to instill in them the value of responsibility towards their family.
The generation today is very much one of entitlement.
“The world is here to serve me” type. A mentality of “I don’t need to do for you unless it’s worth it for me”.
I don’t want my kids to be raised like that. I want my kids to grow up feeling responsible (in a healthy way) for themselves and those around them.
This is our home, we all live here so we should all be responsible for taking care of it!
In the same line, I don’t pay my teenage kids for babysitting. I may give them a special privilege and I certainly don’t overburden them, but babysitting is just part of how they help out in the family. (It’s also good that I have 3 teenage babysitters, so they can switch off!)
SO HOW ON EARTH DO I MOTIVATE THEM TO DO THEIR CHORES?
I often talk about the importance of helping out in the house and being a team player.
I say it with love in my heart and a sweet voice on my lips, and you’ll often hear me telling bed time stories to the little kids about someone who helped their mommy or brother or sister.
You’ll also hear me full of compliments to whoever will listen about the child who helped out. “Grandpa, do you know who swept the floor all by himself?”
But don’t worry I there’s more! I have lots of great tools for motivating kids to do their chores in the following blog post:
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I find that the younger you start the easier it is – for them that is, to get used to doing chores.
Not for you who needs to help them help! It’s so much easier to just do it yourself or have the cleaning lady do it all.
And trust me when I was 9 months pregnant or with a newborn or even not feeling well, chores went out the window!
But I love my kids and I want what is best for them and that includes teaching kids the values that are important to me. So, I try my best to exert the effort and promote and enforce chore doing.
What don’t we do for our kids?
Do you pay your kids to do chores?
