How to Be More Confident in Your Parenting
How to Be More Confident in Your Parenting? Picture this.
Your daughter’s on the floor – screaming!!!! And tantruming for the last 10 minutes already. Arms and legs flying all over the place.
‘Oh no! What do I do now?’
You’re thinking she probably needs you to hold her and say just the right thing, or maybe she just needs you to stand your ground and be strict, or maybe….
It’s so confusing trying to figure out what to do – and when.
Ever feel like you’re messing up the most important job in your life – parenting your precious children?
Here are some confidence building tips I’ve picked up along my journey with my own 8 delicious kids – cuz I sure didn’t start out with a lot of confidence – no siree! (see #7 bellow and you’ll get why).
9 Tips to More Confidence in Your Parenting
1. Competence Breeds Confidence
It’s that simple. The more that you learn, the more skills you acquire, the more proficient you become – the more confidence you’ll have.
Competence literally breeds confidence.
So if you feel like you’re not sure what you’re doing – go out and learn!
You don’t naturally know how to drive a car – you take lessons. Learn skills from someone who’s been in your shoes and can give you valuable tools and tips.
If you feel like you are lacking the skills you need to parent properly, go out and learn them.
Parenting classes will give you a world of ways to deal with the regular day to day mishaps that happen when you’re parenting.
I’m telling you – you’re going to thank me one day!
2. Imagine You’re a Captain
Just as every ship needs a captain, so does every home. And your child, as much as he would like to be, is not the captain.
A captain is confident and he’s skilled. Everyone knows that he is running the ship and therefore they respect him and listen to him.
You need to show that you are confident in your parenting. Your children need to know that you are running the ship and they need to respect you and listen to you.
You need SHOW CONFIDENCE!
You don’t want your kids walking all over you. It’s not good for them.
Children need boundaries. They need to listen to and show respect for parents, for this will allow them to listen to and show respect to all authority figures in general.
Be the Captain of your ship.
Your kids need you to show them how to sail.
☞ If you like this post, you will love: Positive Discipline: How to Get Mind Blowing Results
3. Learn to Tune-In to Your Intuition
Learning parenting skills is oh so important – it’s true. But once you have those skills, how do you know when to apply which tool?
When to show empathy, when to be strict? When to allow more freedom, when to require more self-discipline?
Parenting is tricky and your parenting coach is not always going to be at your side during every interaction with your kids.
But the truth is that along with your child’s birth, a parent was born. And you, as your child’s guide in life, was gifted the God given intuition to know what’s right for your child.
When you silence the mind chatter, turn off your phone, tune out the world – and just listen, you’ll feel that intuition deep down inside of you.
Learning how to get in touch with your intuition is something I touch on more deeply in my parenting course, Confident Kids.
4. Perfect the Art of Patience
When you can respond to a full-blown tantrum with a mellow expression – your confidence will soar!
Personal development for parents with little kids especially - is the key!!!
So often you really know what to do in any given situation – or you’d come up with a feasible solution if you had the presence of mind to think for a minute. But your kids push your buttons to no end and you just can’t think straight.
Work on perfecting the art of patience. Often that’s half the equation to figuring out whatever the current ‘crisis’ might be, cuz when you’re calm the solution so often pops into your mind!
5. ‘Let it Be’
There will be times when you just don’t know what to do.
A tantrum. A blow up. Big feelings & tears.
Confidence in parenting doesn’t mean we always know what to say. But what you can do is just let it be… and be present for your child.
Give a listening ear and an empathetic word.
Sometimes that’s all you really need to do. You can’t fix all your child’s problems. No parent can. But you can be there as their pillar of love and support.
I just love how Nicole Schwartz says it in her article How to Be a Confident Parent
‘Being confident in your parenting means that you send the message to your child: “I’ve got this. I’ve got you. Big feelings are scary and you do not need to face them alone.”’
6. Celebrate Your Wins
When we make a small mistake, we almost ALWAYS feel bad about it…
But when we accomplish a small WIN, we almost never feel good about it…
Do you see how this comes very natural to us??
Every WIN is POWERFUL and creates a ripple effect!!
Here in our community, we celebrate ALL wins together, and we GROW together…
Embrace your journey and be proud of YOUR wins - no matter how small!!
Remember no parent is perfect, it’s a journey that we’re all on together.
I made this video for you that explains how your thought processes about past failures and successes can affect your confidence in a BIG WAY!
7. Never Look at the Neighbors
Your neighbors are not raising your kids.
You are.
Looking next door to see how perfect things seem over there is not going to help you in any way shape or form.
Trust me, I know.
When I had 3 little kids I had this neighbor who had similar age kids. I was having it really hard with my kids at the time, and for her everything seemed like a breeze.
I remember so clearly watching her walk to and from the park with her two little kids holding onto the baby’s stroller so nicely. They did whatever she asked… just when she asked and life was all rainbows and fairies.
Meanwhile I would be chasing after my kids for half an hour just trying to catch them when I wanted to go home – which was quite the feat since I was outnumbered.
I felt so badly about myself as a mother cuz I couldn’t keep it together while my neighbor’s kids seemed so perfect.
But you know what? My neighbor didn’t have my kids. She had perfect mannered timid children and I had wild, sensory seeking, ADHD crazy kids!
How can you possibly compare?
☞ If you like this post, you will love: How to Talk So Your Kids LOVE to Listen
8. Work on Anger Management
There’s nothing that tears down your confidence more than losing it with your kids.
You’re a parent who cares deeply about being a phenomenal parent, (I know cuz you’re reading parenting articles on your free time!) and the thing that breaks your heart the most is when your anger gets the better of you….
The guilt is crippling and your self-confidence plummets.
I was exactly in this spot when I was super overwhelmed with my 5 young kids. And no matter how many times I told myself I’d keep it together, I kept losing it again and again.
☞ If you like this post, you will love: I Hurt My Child in Anger – What Do I Do?
But, you’re in luck. Cuz I’ve literally spent a decade compiling just about every brilliant technique out there for anger management for parents.
I’d love to have you join our community of parents who are committed to creating a safe and calm atmosphere in their homes.
This is anger management and personal development for parents who want to shine as brilliant role models for their kids. Join this set of Free anger management classes here.
9. The Power of the Mastermind
Problems arise in parenting. Sometimes you’re too close to the issue at hand to see the solution.
When doctors make their rounds, they review each patient’s diagnosis and symptoms and then they meet to discuss each patient in detail. At times, the head doctor will find a new way of looking at things based on another doctor’s ideas and perspective, and a new treatment will be suggested.
This is the Power of the Mastermind.
When you make your rounds to the different parenting issues that will arise, and you and your husband aren’t sure about a certain situation, talk it over with someone else.
Now I don’t suggest you discuss your children with anyone and everyone. They deserve their privacy. But having someone specific to hash things out with often proves beneficial.
Be it a family member, a friend, a parenting coach or a therapist. Someone whose wisdom you respect. Someone who will help you see what you’ve missed and make wise decisions. Feel free to reach out if I can help.
More Confidence
All in all, confidence is something that comes with time – the more you learn and the more you feel that you’ve done the right thing.
But sometimes need to fake it until you make it.
Your kids need to see that you have confidence – so they feel safe.
And the more you take the reins of your parenting into your hands – with love and happiness - the more you’ll feel confident.
