Angry Child: Here's How to Tame the Outbursts in the Moment
Angry Child: Here's How to Tame the Outbursts in the Moment
Handling kid’s anger is not one of the highlights of parenting! It can be draining, frustrating and even puzzling.
And the worst part is when your child’s anger STIRS UP YOUR OWN ANGER AND YOU EXPLODE IN TURN!!!
Can you relate?
Well I certainly can! I feel like sometimes it takes all I’ve got to keep calm and carry on while a volcano of angry emotions is erupting before me.
practical tips to deal with an angry child’s outbursts in the moment:
1. Get a Grip
Your child is about to completely explode and just let it all out!
Remember: this is not about you. It’s their challenge. This is something they have to go through.
Don’t take it personally.
☞ If you like this post, you will love: Positive Discipline: How to Get Mind Blowing Results
2. You are the Parent
Aka – the role model. If you respond mirroring your child’s response - with an angry response – the time it will take for them to calm down will be much longer!
The first step to calming the storm is by being calm! Totally and utterly in control and calm inside.
If you’re looking for some tips and tools for keeping calm from the inside out then check out my Free Parenting Classes - Mastering Patience.
3. Don’t Say ‘Calm Down’
Did you ever calm down because someone told you to calm down?
NO!
That just makes it worse! So try skipping that part for now.
☞ If you like this post, you will love: How to Discipline a Child with ADHD and ODD
4. Listen Actively
Acknowledge what your child is saying. Let him feel really heard.
Put down your phone, turn your shoulders towards her, and give eye contact.
Anger doesn’t begin to dissipate until one feels heard – so show your child that you are hearing him fully, and understand what he’s going through.
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5. Empathize
Show your child how much you feel for her plight. How much you understand and can relate to whatever she’s going through.
Truly feel her pain through your facial expressions and your words. Summon all your compassion.
When you show that it’s safe to let real vulnerable feelings comes out – that’s often what happens. The angry shouts turn into tears…
Sometimes not, but at least she’s sharing what’s in her heart with you and that’s important too.
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6. Don’t Rebuke
You’re itching to say it, I know exactly how you feel!
‘Don’t shout at me! You’re being disrespectful!!!’
But just wait a little while. Don’t say it just yet. Now’s not the time.
Never give a rebuke when one or both sides are in a low state. You know why? Cuz it won’t accomplish what you want it to.
When you’re all revved up and angry, and you spouse comes along and tells you off for something – are you going to say; ‘yes dear, sure no problem.’ Uh, not exactly.
Just wait a while until everyone is calm and you use your intuition to find the right moment to bring up any rebuke that is necessary.
The Key
The key to this whole system is to keep calm and to connect with your child even though he’s angry.
I know this is not an easy feat. Trust me! I get it! Parenting is seriously challenging at times and our kids can really push our buttons!
This special video that I recorded for you gives one incredible tip that will give you the perspective to remain cool as a pickle while your child rants and raves right up until it’s all over. One of my parent coaching clients seriously flipped out from this one tip – and said it completely changed his life.
Join my Free course Anger Management for Parents and jump into the first video for the key to keeping calm no matter what.
